Validating and scary - you are spot on there, and again with the needing it - The last couple of weeks have been amongst the worst of my 40 years, and I did it on my own. This evening Im feeling so much stronger. But at the same time its a bit of reality check. When no one knows, it might not be true. Ive spent the past two years mostly thinking all of this was me just being attention seeking. But if he realised 20 years ago. The day he met me... Ugh. Thats so much harder to deny.

As for asking my T outright- Yes, Ive asked him twice. Even though he talks about my parts and does refer to them and to my dissociation, he has never ever said he thinks I have DID. Part of that is because Psychotherapists in the UK aren't allowed to diagnose, but he also said as long as I was smoking weed (I was a pot head for many years) he couldn't say whether what I was experiencing was down to drugs or not. I haven't asked him since I gave up - I guess until this afternoon I was leaning towards the 'Im just attention seeking' option.

My chat with my friend already has this hazy unreal value to it *GRUMP*