I wish that just for once, someone would be afraid of losing me. That I could run away and have someone chase me.

But it won't happen. I am so terrible that no matter what I do, I ruin things forever. All I'm doing is breathing and hanging on. There is no life when no one cares and never will care.

Today I went by a cemetery. And I was thinking about all the people in there, how some of them were rich, some of them were poor, some of them mattered to others, maybe some were even like me--a person people look at but never love. And they all ended up in the same place and most of them will be forgotten about in 500 years tops. So if I were to die tomorrow and had no marks to leave behind, and was completely erased from the world's memory in 5 years, I wouldn't be any different than the people who mattered.

Everyone lives every day and breathes. That might be all this is about. Take a breath and I matter.