Kiya, please call and get help if you need it. Or set up an appointment with a therapist (either your former one or a new one). I am more concerned about your despair than anything else. You don't have to live that way.
Hope to see you in chat soon.
Rap
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg
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