Certainly sounds like time to consult with an attorney. Sounds like a toxic environment in which to raise a child.

Mothers might seem statistically prefered for custody, however that might be part of the result of how job hours overlap and who tends to take the child to the doctors, etc. It's rather about stability for the child. My father had primary custody when my parents divorced, made logistical sense. I have primary custody due to my exes work and other circumstances, makes logistical sense.