i guess i'm a little unusual then because i'm really not sure whether i prefer ftf or phone contact. the most important cue for me is his tone of voice, and that is present in both forms on contact.

in favour of phone contact: sometimes other cues (like his posture) distracts me so i find it harder to make self disclosures in person than over the phone. i think it is good that i can make self disclosures over the phone, though. it helps him understand where i'm coming from a little more.

it also doesn't take up so much of my day. much easier to talk to him on the phone than to spend over an hour each way getting there and back.

in favour of in person contact: those other cues act as triggers and i suppose there is the potential for talking about that to be a hard self disclosure that wouldn't come up if i didn't talk to him ftf.

there is also the potential for more soothing ftf, i think. i guess that is the converse of the potential for triggering lol.

i'm actually thinking... that a little bit of both might be optimal for me...

the nature of the self disclosures is different... the risks are a bit different and the potential gains are a bit different.