Warning this may trigger some!

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up! I am so tired of my life and the never ending depression. I can't feel any joy or happiness and sometimes I just do not want to go on anymore. From the outside my life is good, great husband, nice home, no money worries ect. but inside I feel dead but am stuck in a life I do not want to be a part of anymore. If I could just get myself back again I might would be alright but I feel like I've lost myself in this never ending pit of depression and despair. Its been a long battle and one that I fear I will never win that I am always going to be depressed and never feel any joy in life again. I just don't know if I can stand to live my life like this. I keep going every day because I love my husband and do not want to hurt him but sometimes it is hard and I don't know if I can keep it up. God I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up...things would be so peaceful and I would not have to feel this pain anymore. But alas I must keep going if not for myself than for my husband. I hate this life!