I think that your time "away" from your H and having your own space has been really good for you. Sometimes we don't realize just how much we allow someone to take over our space, instead we learn to live that way, it becomes our "normal".

When it really hit "me", after I was already struggling with PTSD and trying to figure out not only what it meant but how to gain on identifying triggers and finding ways to work through them is when I noticed, really noticed how every morning I was waking up huddled in the bottom corner of my bed with a big pillow I had learned to use to protect me as my husband, even in his sleep is restless and takes over the bed. I had it develop in my mind that I just had to learn how to sleep around that and I was not really getting a good night's sleep.

Finally, because I could not sleep without having the TV on, my husband moved to another room and FINALLY I actually got to have the bed to myself and actually SLEEP without that pillow. WOW, it was such a difference just claiming that one space. Did I feel guilty? YES, I did until I realized that I actually have every right to sleep in a healthy way and that meant not sleeping with my husband.

When you go back to "give your husband another chance" just make sure you make your OWN SPACE and don't fall back into giving up your space. You know, your husband is used to ruling the entire home and he is also used to taking his anger out on "you". You have to make sure you are strong and make sure you say NO. You are so used to giving in so you have to make sure "you" don't go back to that old pattern because now you know it's very unhealthy for you.