TRIGGER

Today was a bad day. I got an attack which I hadn't have for a long time. I got furious about I don't know and fought the dearest to me person for a few hours. I even threaten to kill him or injure seriously if he wouldn't stick to my commands. I have never said that before. I couldn't stop myself. All the time he tried to cool me down. I wanted him to do something painful to me, of course he didn't instead he tried to hug me. I wanted to harm myself but I saw the previous scars and besides I was afraid of someone noticing it. So I just did some very gentle wounds on my hip and breasts. It didn't give me a relief.
After all he invited me to the cinema. Why such a good person must stand someone like me

I also thought about my pdoc and regret I have never told him even a half of the truth about me