Yeah, it's something I am happy with. Perna, unfortunately it doesn't necessarily mean I have time for reali life....I still obsess about T and about sessions. It just gives me a place to put feelings when I don't know what to do with them. I had a really ****** day yesterday, filled with SI urges. I didn't call T because I didn't want to. However, this morning I did call and let him know (on the answering machine) what a crappy day I had yesterday and that I was feeling crappy too. I told him that I wanted to make contact but that if we didn't connect today I would understand and that I would see him tomorrow. I think this time it was a pull him closer and push him away message all at the same time. Hmmm. yeah. I just figured out what this was about. I'm always protecting myself from some future event. Ha (she said sarcastically).