Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Especially the recent posts from fuzzybear, Adam_K and AnnaBettina.
Please ignore all typos since I'm on my phone and it's very hard for me to see due to eye injury Friday and complete exhaustion....

First, I know I need help, can't snap out of my obsession with wanting to be dead, but like Fuzzybear describes (having worked in healthcare field for decades and other negative life experiences), rejection, or non-caring "professionals" is something I am not able to be subjected to right now)....

As I read your posts, I keep thinking nobody should have to live in so much pain (mental anguish), including me.

It makes me want to cry, that many of us, can't stop hoping we will die, solely because the pain of life has become too UNBEARABLE.

The most heart-wrenching posts here are those who have attempted suicide and regret that they are still alive...

So what is the solution or answer?

Can a life or death decision ever be made that we can be certain it was the correct one?

This is what I keep asking myself...
???????

Here's a few of the rationale answers I say to myself, (that unfortunately does nothing to make me "feel" like I want to stay alive):

1. Morally and Spiritually, choosing life always wins...
E.g. Suicide is murder and murder is wrong.
God brought us into this life so only HE should be able to decide when we die.

2. Life is always CHANGING (beyond our control or required input), that
actually forces us
to accept and acknowledge HOPE.
(Things can always get better and miracles, although unlikely do exist).

3. I can't because all humans have a natural instinct to stay alive...

A few on my very long list of arguments I have with myself on why I can NOT KILL MYSELF,
And guess what?
It does nothing and I still FEEL that I want to be dead.

My reasons right now are due primarily to ongoing horrific life events/situations;
But many years ago I had clinical depression when my life was not that awful ((I had many good reasons to want to be alive), and I went through a time when I thought about suicide, so I fully can relate to those who feel suicidal due to physical, clinical depression) reasons.

What should we do???

Since I know likely all of you have read articles like I have, (about dealing with suicidal ideations) I won't even consider quoting the usual practical "tips"...
(Hasn't worked for me, just like it may not work for many of you)...

In conclusion, the only solution or answer I have right now is======
I want to simply and personally give all of you thinking about suicide,
a hug.---

And I want to say, that today, YOUR lives (words, posts, discussions and even disagreements) meant alot to me.
Thank you for being alive today, so I was no longer alone.

Thanks for validating how I feel, by sharing your innermost thoughts that are so similar to mine.

I felt tremendous peace while I was because I felt that somebody, somewhere understands how I feel.
While it's not a good thing that we all feel so awful and I have become so obsessed with wanting to be dead,
at least I am no longer alone with my negative feelings.

My greatest hope is that most of us might get the opportunity to some day, real soon FEEL
real joy and happiness.
Not think about being happy "some day" but actually and naturally feel it.
Because I'm certain that's the best treatment known to cure and permanently eradicate suicidal thoughts.

But for now Im very appreciative I had an hour or so of peace because I felt like I belonged here, while reading others' thoughts that are so similar to mine.

So although it may sound very selfish, please stay alive, at least for a little while longer,
and please keep sharing your feelings, so I am not alone with mine.
Your lives matter so much to me,
and without your thoughts I would be left completely alone with mine.

Despite my being a complete stranger, I need you all so much, because I know you most likely understand how I feel, unlike everybody else Im in contact with (off line).

Everywhere I go, everything I do, whether I'm pretending to be fine or opening up to a friend or family member (in hope that they might help me), NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HOW I FEEL, but I think many of you do, because your posts so often say exactly what Im thinking .