Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306
Perhaps your father chose to spend money on her - as his spouse he owed it to her too.
Did you and he talk about and agree to an understanding of expectations regarding things like education, etc?
Regardless, that doesn't diminish the feelings and resentment you have for her. No one I hope is saying or expecting that you be her friend or even an aquaintance. Talk to your dad and have that conversation now about expectations. Let him know you would love to spend time with him but would prefer to do so without her. But, understand that he has a choice too.
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Yes, from a young age I was raised with the understanding that my college would be paid for if I wanted to go. (If I didn't, then I would be a severe disappointment to the family and kicked out of the house upon graduating high school. Some choice, huh?)
When the tuition money was cut off, the doublespeak started happening - he claimed those promises were never made, but that we could take out
private loans through his bank (instead of federal loans) that would make it easier for him to pay since he had such a good relationship with his institution. Every month I had to grovel for those payments, and more doublespeak started happening. They became
my loans that we agreed that
I was to pay for, and that any money he gave me was simply generosity on his part.
I lived in Brooklyn at the time and was so scared of asking for money that I couldn't run the heater during some of the coldest nights one winter... and two of my toes got frostbitten.
Yes, it is his choice. I'm willing to give him a chance if I can pretend to the best of my ability that she doesn't exist - and he can choose whether he'll accept that or not, I guess.
He won't completely walk away from me, though. Not until he's no longer the co-signer for a student loan, at least.