Thank you so much for the positive input, Tisha! I think the homosexual stuff on here might be someone on here projecting their own issues, but I dunno. I'm very far from homophobic, but I'm a fairly straightforward person not ashamed of who I am & who I'm not... so if I was gay (or even bi)... the reader would know it... trust me! LOL! Actually, thinking about it, as a member of the metal/hardcore music community, it's been a bit of a fight over the years to get rid of the homophobic stigma more than anything. It's different with this generation, but it's taken a lot of work for the scene to get here.



I dunno. I'm starting to suspect that my cultural alignments are out of phase with my own age group, and that (combined with looking somewhat young) isn't winning me any favors with mid-to-late thirties women. I mostly lack a sense of nostalgia overall, and as an artist, I tend to follow what resonates with me, which continues to be what newer forms of culture have had to offer up over the years... so I've evolved into that as a persona (albeit along with the underpinnings I've had in the past). It's hard sometimes when I see people even a bit younger than me crapping on things I might appreciate as "hipster/Millennial trash", whilst I personally struggle to identify with a good part of the aging Gen X'ers issues. I feel like my style and interests might irritate many of them more than entice. Everyone seems so angry at everyone else right now over such shallow s___. It's all worn me down to be sure.



Despite what I just wrote above, pigeonholing people by age, culture, gender, etc. is a slippery-slope that I refuse to engage in because that's not how I want to be evaluated myself. Women are a diverse set of human beings, each with their own perspectives. I'm sure/I hope there's a good chunk of them out there that aren't that superficial and/or part of a hivemind perspective on what us as individuals are. And I hope I fall in love with one of them...



I try not to let it. For the most part it doesn't. I say that because the rare times I've reveled my inner struggles to my friends, they've been pretty much aghast with the idea of me feeling that way. I'm one of those people with depression, low self esteem, and alcoholism that hides it like a boss. I'm actually not proud of that... it's just a survival mechanism, and a mechanism of hope in a way.