Hey,

Active alcoholism for me was a real drag. It sounds like you are suffering. Splitimage is right on. For me, alcoholism made anxiety so much worse when I thought the alcohol was helping. In early sobriety, managing the anxiety was a real challenge.

Some people need to fall really really far to get desperate enough to get sober. Divorce, Jail, and Rehab ended up not being enough for me, I had to lose even more to really find the humility to surrender.

I would start to ponder this question: "What am I willing to do to get out of active alcoholism?" and really hash out details, like very specific things. This helped me a lot.

Good luck. PM me as needed.

moogs