well i had a horrendous morning this morning. was convinced my boss hated me and was actively avoiding and ignoring me, i messed up everything and was almost in tears by the time i got a lunch break at 2pm but...
then i stood up for myself just a little and spoke to my boss about one of the many things he had yelled at me for screwing up this morning. i told him i was frustrated with myself for getting it wrong when i thought i had gotten it right and started to ask him to explain it but he cut me off by saying i had probably gotten it right in the first place and what i had written did make sense. so basically i was able to compartmentalise things a bit then and see that my bosses mood was not my fault. it was because of stuff going on with him and not because im a terrible person and making life unbearable for him. the rest of the afternoon went much better and i think i managed to do some things right even.
not wanting to blow my own horn but im just a little proud of myself for not breaking down and for actually trying to make the situation better. i didnt fall into the pit of 'i suck'. well not totally. and i got myself out of it before i drowned! lol. it was a really hard day and its not over yet but to add to my note of gratitude:
im so very grateful that all the work ive been doing on myself and all the horrible experiences ive had in the past have made me reach a place where, at least just this once even if never again, i reacted maturely and got control of my emotions.
ok thats way too much self praise.