Dear life_ender,
I am sorry you are in such desperate straits. I agree with rainyday107 that you may need medical attention. You have said you have no money for a psychiatrist but should at least see some sort of healthcare professional. It could be important. Many of us who post here (including me) take medications to help with insomnia. However, with everything you are taking, it's important to take your medications as prescribed and to seek medical advice for additional help.
Please don't let your lack of funds keep you from going to a doctor or hospital! It could be very detrimental to your budget not to go.
Think of the girl you love and go get help.
I hope you get some sleep soon! Myst