angel

one thing i should of mentioned earlier was that i think the actual label of whether or not this was rape doesn't matter as much as how you feel about what happened. So many people have such strong opinions of whatthe definition o f rape is, it seems a useless arguement. If you are not going to the police then it really doesn't matter how you label the experience.

the bottom line is you were truamatized and you need help to deal with it . many here have suggested seeing a therapist but i would recomend some one who specializes in this kind of thing. after my incident i was really lost, friends and family didn't understand many were like "just get over it" It is not that easy , having someone train in this area can help you walk through your emotions and sort them out.

when listening to advice from others take it with a grain of salt. Everyone comes from a different background and experiences and opinions. Any advice you receive will be skewed towards that persons point of view. (including my own) i had a police officer who said i was just trying to get back at my husband when i tried to press charges. none of my friends understood, when my family finally found out , my dad wanted to kill him but counld not console me in the least. My mom thought it was my own fault somehow. Thigs were totally messed up .

The only comfort i found was in talking with other victims, and even then it was difficult because each persons experience varied so much.

try to take a step back and do what is right for you. although i would recommend getting professional help. Just make sure they are capable of giving th kind of help you need.

i really hope and pray you will feel better soon.
Linda