I try to be religious about taking my meds, but sometimes I wonder if they actually help... I ran out of Wellbutrin back in the spring and didn't notice that there wasn't anymore in my pillboxes until the end of the month (I try to fill a month's worth of pillboxes at a time, but I ran out about halfway through, and didn't even notice it wasn't there anymore). By the time I noticed it had been a couple of weeks since I had had any... I was feeling pretty good, so I never refilled it. Things were pretty good until about a month ago, I've been in a terrible depressive episode ever since. I found an old bottle I had forgotten about and started again, but I've run out again (can't see my pdoc for a couple more weeks) and I'm really crashing now. I've thought about going to the hospital, but I just can't bear the thought of it.

I guess what I'm saying is that you have to try and give your meds a chance to work, even if they feel strange for a while. Discipline is hard when you're depressed, I know, but keep trying! Medication is not a cure, but it can help to make life at least tolerable.

Good luck to you, I hope you find a way to cope with this devil.