I can't stand this, I am starting to be so scared and reacting like I am bad, hiding. I feel like a criminal. And I miss her so much. Lawyer wants a forensic psychologist to look at all of us but it cost $3600 and travel and testimony time. I had to tell her no, can't afford it. I feel so awful I want my baby, I need to look into other adoptions as I am losing hope here.