Sorry for the length of this...I'm really irritated right now at something my 'stepfather' said this morning. My kids and I are visiting him and my mom at a vacation cabin in my mom's family. We brought our senior dog on this trip, after clearing it with them, because it would have been unsafe to leave him at home due to weather, even though my husband is still home.

Anyway, it's been a couple of months since our dog was groomed last. Since he's older, he doesn't naturally lose as much of the fur that he sheds as he used to - it stays in his coat more frequently until it's brushed out. With the summer heat, he's blowing coat constantly, and it's hard to keep up. Also, he has dry/sensitive skin, and too much brushing irritates it.

Anyhow, I don't notice that he smells often. Apparently, my stepfather did. The dog was outside until bedtime, then slept next to me in the living room overnight. He went out first thing again this morning. I overhead my stepfather talking to my mother saying that the dog needs to stay out (which he was at that point) because we don't wash or brush him and he stinks.

I'm not bothered that he doesn't want a stinky dog inside. I'm furious that he assumes because he doesn't look/smell amazing right this minute that we neglect him. We drove up, and there were branches from hedges lining the road where they had clearly just trimmed - I didn't ASSUME that they never clean up after their project - I figured they were working on it or that there was some other reason I don't know that the branches weren't collected & dealt with.

I'm furious at how judgmental he always is and that he assumes he has the whole story all the time. He's a slave to moderation and routine - anyone who isn't like him he looks down on. His way would always be the best, and there never seems to be any thought of compassion or empathy from him, at least in the sense of assuming the best in people before assigning the worst to them. Fat people are lazy and unmotivated. Poor people are lazy and unmotivated. Children who are sometimes loud or energetic when it's inconvenient to him must have weak or rude parents. (Keeping in mind, he has no siblings, no children - until he met my mother later in life it had pretty much just been him relying on himself and needing only to consider himself.)

So I'm stewing in my own fury on Day One of this trip. I just want to pack up and go home. I did get the dog groomed (he did need it, but we've been traveling a TON this summer for some unexpected reasons and hadn't gotten to it), so that probably isn't going to continue to be an issue. All the same, I don't think I can tolerate being around him for the next week.

I hate having to take up next to no space. I follow my kids around constantly while we're here getting them to put everything away, trying to make our impact on his space as minimal as possible. I've considered just keeping our bags in the van so that they're not in his line of sight ever. I slept on a damn twin-sized day bed last night whose 'mattress' is older than I am and lumpier than a ball pit because it was 'politely suggested' to me - pulling out the couch bed and putting the mattress topper on it that I brought with me in order to be able to sleep comfortably is seemingly either too much work or too much mess in the front patio room. I don't know. I'm considering sharing a twin bed with one of my kids tonight, even though I wouldn't get much sleep with the tossing & turning - but then I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on the dog.

All this, because instead of saying, "The dog really stinks. He should stay outside as much as possible; can we suggest she get it groomed?" he decided to got with, "They don't bathe or brush that dog." And I can't tell if I'm just inflating the 'offense' here. And I don't know how to forgive it - I'm nursing my hurt and my anger.

Total tailspin.