You're just beginning therapy, Moonkin.

There's plenty of time and lots more exploration to do.

As my therapist says often, "You're where you need to be right now."

Hang in there. Look how far you've come about the emailing! You let yourself do it now without holding back , and you don't draw conclusions about not receiving an email back because you've talked about it and you've integrated that within in you! You're doing great!