Second day back at work, working with the woman who triggers the heck outta me. Last night I was reading about trauma and attachment and recognized the pattern in how she behaves towards me... (it has always been obvious to me that she has dissociation/unresolved trauma stuff going on.)
Her relationship with me is as an internalized abuser to a weaker object. With others she is the 'good' person, an almost child like persona that seeks attachment by pleasing everyone around her. With me she attacks, criticizes, belittles... she often speaks to me with what I can only describe as 'venom'. At least now we have a third person working with us, and this person was shocked to see how I was treated and was able to stand up for me. (When this woman attacks me I haven't figured out how to stand up for myself yet... I freeze, switch, have panic attacks etc).
I hate my work at the moment.