I cannot sleep. I am aged, kinda old. It is either because I am old or because I have autism or because I need hormones or ALL of those reasons. I get up some nights and write in my journal or watch TV or eat or take a couple of Aleve because that's the only thing that works. I've tried melatonin and everything else there is to try and nothing else works. I will see a doctor about this in almost another month, will maybe try a hormone.

I started a blog on autism on 4th of July and made a few posts, designed the blog and it was free. I thought it was so cool and I was fine with it. It even had humor because I occasionally mentioned my cats. I then realized that I didn't really want to do it so I deleted the whole thing earlier today and feel good about doing that. I do not need to write about it for anyone else. I need to learn about it and write a blog (daily journal) about autism to MYSELF! I don't feel good about it, am still processing it, just discovered I am autistic this year.

I am lonely. I have literally nobody to talk to. Friends are gone due to cancer or due to lack of support or they are just gone or I had to dump them. Last night I dreamed of a kind of weird romance. Maybe that was good. It was kind of interesting, a strange rehash of knowing two brothers but not at the same time. I have met some men online but they are all CRAZY. I feel I need a companion in my old age. It does not HAVE TO be a man, I think I am beyond that now. My two next door neighbors are a-holes! My daughter is ill. I need someone to talk to. No one is available. I should write emails to the moon. Thanks for reading! Anybody else have sleepless nights or nobody to talk to???? Goodnight.