Dear HalloweenSkye,
I completely understand why you are anxious about taking medication. I often wonder if I really need my medications and if they are harming me in some way. Like you, when I first started medication it did stop my suicidal thoughts. That is really important. Currently, I'm not as depressed but have made the choice to continue to take my medication as "extra insurance" in regards to becoming severely depressed/agitated. And I can't tell you whether you should start taking your medication again. I think it's a personal choice based on how the medication makes you feel and whether it is helping more than hurting us.
However, since you have been suicidal in the past, are you at least staying in touch with a healthcare professional such as a therapist? And you say you are not suicidal but are you sure that you're fully recovered? During my last depressive episode, I had forgotten what it was really like not to be depressed. Not being suicidal may only be a partial recovery. You're really going to have to think about this and talk to someone to insure that you are making a rational decision about discontinuing your medications.
I want your recovery to be long lasting! Please monitor yourself carefully and get feedback from others.
Sincerely, Myst