Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
For me - I would have a problem with running the actions of one therapist past a second therapist. That seems a bit muddying the situation to me.
In this specific situation - could it be more difficult with the individual therapist because of how much you like/depend upon/contact the mc?
But if I did not think the therapist was what I needed or that I could not use in some way, I would take a break and try out some new ones.
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Yeah, I can definitely see that being an issue. I've spent lots of time running stuff with MC past T (because of all the transference, plus giving her his take on stuff going on between H and I). And she's strongly disagreed with a few things he's said/done. (Like at one point a while back, I was saying I felt like the empathy was missing from my H. And MC was saying that one person can't give you everything, so, even though he didn't think H wasn't capable of empathy, maybe it's OK/not the end of the world if he can't provide that for me. T was like, "He actually said that?" Some other stuff too. For the record, she did refer us to him! Though I also wonder at times if there's almost a weird competitive thing, where I feel more connected to him than her, and that bothers her. But...that could totally be a negative maternal transference thing for me, since my mom seemed jealous of my friends that I confided in at times...)
I hadn't really gone the other way much, running stuff with my T past MC. And MC did ask in session last week why I wanted to discuss this with him (said it was fine--and confidential from her--just wanted to know why), and after giving a few other answers, came up with that I thought it was a reality check. Like was I reading too much into what T was saying/doing? Does this often happen after a certain amount of time in therapy with one person? Am I expecting too much from her? Plus he's known her for years, so I wasn't sure if maybe he'd be like, "Yeah, that's just how she operates." (He did refrain from reflecting on what she was thinking.) He was definitely emphasizing how some of how I'm feeling with her might be stuff from my past, specifically my mom. And he was encouraging me to try to work things out with her, because working through it could be helpful to me, rather than just running away.
But I'm just thinking maybe I need to explore other T's, or just take a break from T for a bit and continue with marriage counseling for now (my relationship with H is getting better, too, it's not just about me). Maybe I've just hit a point of diminishing returns with T, I don't know...