Welcome BigMac! Sorry to hear your struggling. In my experience medication can help but only to a point. After that therapy can be crucial to stabilising. It is an illness most of us will have to deal with to some degree for the rest of our lives but it doesn't have to control our lives and being in treatment can make it easier to deal with. Going off and on meds all the time is certainly going to make things worse though. Keep posting here. We are here to support you.