Your T seems a bit harsh. Not saying she's a bad T but being proud of withholding reassurance?? That's tough.

There's a difference between showing reassurance and enabling someone (or condoning whatever they are doing). Maybe she is equating the two... I mean, what is wrong with providing reassurance and doing some gentle 'shaking'? Dishing out 'tough love' could make one feel...invalidated and rejected. As if she weren't hearing you.

I believe what makes a good T is their ability to adapt their style to the client, not imposing what they feel is right. Otherwise, this could not only undermine any good work but have the completely opposite results to her intent.

I don't know if it's worth terminating with her as it seems quite drastic. I would advise another heart-to-heart (non-confrontational) re how reassurance ≠ acquiescence & how upsetting when it feels she goes into ‘scolding’ mode.