About having a non parent adult to call, my daughters had music teachers who they had developed relationships with. Those were grounding relationships that grew over time. I hear what you're saying about being your own case manager, my husband says the same thing managing his diabetes, RA, etc. it sounds like you have a clear understanding of the issues and what needs to be done. Did you get your son's input in this, what does he want to do, timing wise. You're doing an awesome job.