OK, so I'm at this point in my life where I can keep doing what I had been doing (which hasn't been working so good for me) or I can start trying to build a different life. This shouldn't be hard, right? If I don't like what I've got, then I should be doing something different.
But I don't want to!! It's been two weeks since I realized things have to change and I haven't done ANYTHING.
OK, it's my XBF. We broke up in May. It really sucked, but then I started believing that this was OK, and that I could have another life, a better life without him. I could believe in myself, and build the life I want to have. I even started dating a guy I met on a business trip (if you can date from halfway across the country). That was great, except the XBF started calling and texting around end of August, and then we started seeing each other again, kinda, maybe.
I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't want that life with him - it's all the old stuff that doesn't really work for me. We've been YEARS on and off, and it DOESN'T WORK!! So why t'heck am I still seeing him?
It's comfortable. I may be weird, but he's used to it and it doesn't bother him. This other guy may not work out, and at least the XBF wants me...but it's the same old crap. Why can't I just let it go and walk away?
__________________
They don't ever lock ya up for thinking crazy - they only get ya for actin' crazy!
And just 'cause I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't really out to get me...
|