wisewoman,

Let's see........can I give advice that I myself would take? I hope so. That raciness you are describing sounds kinda like an anxious depression. ((((((ww)))))) That sounds yucky to the max.

I'm sorry you are unhappy too.

Is there any way you could safely, with a watch, open your front door......walk seven and a half minutes and then at that point turn around and walk back to your house? I've done that when I've had that anxious energy. It is hard as....gasp.......people might see me!!!! Egads! When I'm depressed I can't stand the idea of being seen when I am feeling so horrid. Their eyes.......they burn!! lol

Otherwise........are baths appealing to you? They always are to me and soaking in a tub helps make my mind stop racing and worrying so much.

Try not to "bend" the energy into creativity as you said you want but instead find a way to move with the energy into something different.

Did ya catch that last part? I'm talking about the "way to move with the energy" part. Move.

I'm only offering this up since I can remember how I've felt when anxiously worried and wishing I was anything but.

Your creativity is still with you.......it is on the side at this particular moment. It's there. You'll return to it when you're ready to and able to.

Take gentle care please.