Quote:
Originally Posted by chasms
despite the fact that therapists have told me i am a "user" i still dont accept it. i use drugs to cope. but i dont think im an addict? i want some other opinions. i would smoke weed every day for months in order to cope with my anxiety and depression. i went to a party and did molly and had a psychotic break for 3 days. i did acid a handful of time until i ended up having a seizure. these two experiences helped me learn to stay away from harder drugs. i still drink occasionally and smoke weed and take adderrall. i also take mucinex. i did amphetamine for like 4 days straight. ive tried other drugs but was never addicted. i still am in denial . i do all this to cope and just get out of my head...never for fun. sometimes i take one too many of my valium just to see if it will help more but that never gets me high because my tolerance (ive been taking it for a year for severe anxiety) i view it as just self medication though. which is still bad, i know...i dont want to stop because drugs are the only way for me to get out of my ****ing head. im 19...i think its normal for people my age to experiment with drugs?i know i have an addictive personality because its very hard for me to stop or think clearly before i want to use anything
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Are you prescribed adderall or are you taking it to escape or for fun? If you are not prescribed it the best advice I could ever give you is to stay the hell away from it from now on. I first started taking adderall when I was 17 and fell in love instantly. Like you, I experimented with many drugs because hey, let's be honest they're fun as hell, and some of them you can actually learn a lot about yourself. However adderall was the one steady one I always took. Fast forward to the present- I am turning 30 in 2 months and I haven't been off of amphetamines for a year COLLECTIVELY. That means from the time that I was 17 to 30, through out all those years, I can't tally up enough days I wasn't using to complete a year. And here's the kicker, my tolerance was so high that I've upgraded to meth. The amount of money I have spent and continue to spend on speed is absolutely sickening. And it all started with adderall. If you don't think it could happen to you, think again. Stop while you're young. Stop before you become addicted. Sometimes I just cry because I can't believe this is my life. I've hid my addiction the entire time and I can't grow the balls I need to admit that I need help. If I didn't have a 4 year old it would be easier I think.. At least that's what I tell myself. But coming out as a "functioning" meth/speed addict when you have a child is absolutely terrifying. As if I won't be judged harshly for my addiction, adding the fact that I have a child just makes the judgements that much harsher. Oh look, I'm about to cry just writing this. Jesus Christ.