Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Hello MommyDear: The Skeezyks does not have this problem. So I'm not the PC member you wanted to hear from. But I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. 
You need to reach out for help, MommyDear. You wrote you've been addicted for "umpteen" years. You haven't been "sober" for even a cumulative year. You're spending hundreds & even thousands of dollars on drugs. You have a 4 year old daughter. To be blunt... it's time to own your situation. It's not just a matter of your daughter's pride versus shame. It's also a matter of her physical as well a her mental health, & perhaps even her life... should she follow in your footsteps.
If the cold hard reality is it simply isn't possible for you to get well, then please do whatever needs to be done to ensure your daughter has the chance to walk a different path. I wish you well...   |
I know, just coming out and saying I need help is crippiling. I know my mom would support me through it, but to get help means I'm going to have to stop working for a while. And I don't know how long that will be but I presume a very long while. If I don't have anything all I can do is sleep. I'm pretty used to not feeling well and drained, but if I can't score SOMETHING, I'm physically incapable of doing anything. Not only am I tired, but I'm physically weak. It wears me out to just get up to go to the bathroom. As far as I know there isn't an inpatient rehab for (meth)amphetamines because they aren't "physically addictive", meaning I don't need to detox. This means that my mom would have to assume the role of primary caregiver to not only me but my daughter. She would have to financially support us and I can't bring myself to put that on her. She's 65 and in terrible shape. She nearly died in May from Renal failure and hasn't been remotely close to "ok" since then. I moved back in with her in May "to help her" but in all reality it's because I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore...solely due to my addiction. God forbid my daughters father ever got wind of any of this...it would be the end of my relationship with my daughter. The thought of losing her is sole crushing to me...I see no point in my life at this point without her. I know these are probably all excuses to a lot of people but I don't have much in life to live for or hold onto anymore at this point...if you take what little left I have from me..I wouldn't see the point of trying anymore.