Turns out he wasn't diagnosed. One of the things we're sorting out is wishful thinking from lying. He may or may not have aspergers but his father actually thought he had it a few years ago. I initially thought my partner had bpd. I still think he might but I'm also pretty sure he has aspergers. I know there is a lot of information out there on the web and tomorrow I'm going to pick up The complete guide to AS at the library.
Thank you for your response.