Trusting others with your story is a difficult thing to do--face it not that many people can keep things like that to themselves. I think part of it is because they have problems dealing with it.

The only times I have given up control is when I was suicidal. Other than that, it is my life and I need to figure out how to live it.

Don't give up Tsha. It takes time--lotsa of it. If you keep working at it, you will eventually get to the waters edge. Of course, once I got to the "good place" I found I had to keep working to stay there...but that is another post.