Ty for replies. My god, I feel absolutely HORRIBLE. Haven't had a mixed episode in a long time. Cannot sleep, want to rip my hair out, agitated, bad thoughts....and still on this vacation. Supposed to go on a three hour luncheon train ride today. Bf's father set it up, it's really expensive and can't be cancelled. Ugh. He just doesn't get bipolar, at all.

Good news is I'm still taking meds, haven't done anything off the charts, not psychotic. Boyfriend taking care of me the best he can. I'll call pdoc if this is still going on when I return home.

I have gone through this before. Pdoc says it's my "default" mood state. I'll make it through. But this sucks, big time. Using everything in my toolbox to pull through this...no hospital, no self-harm, etc. I'm white-knuckling it, big time.

Thanks for reading. I can support you guys when I'm better.