I've been feeling this way a lot lately. Total emptiness, anhedonia, just a sinking feeling that if I relax and exhale fully I will not be able to fill my lungs again. I keep trying to find rational reasons for it: bad marriage, stressful job, crazy kids, ..... etc. I can't really find one--other than I am just (*&^up subconsciously and am blind to it. I thing I just need someone to connect the AED and shock me back into the real world.