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Originally Posted by not.dead.yet
I struggle immensely with self-esteem and confidence. I believe it goes back to my childhood and youth which weren't happy years.. I've always felt less than nothing because my dad didn't want me. But I was just reading about how others' judgement of us is a reflection of them, and realised my dad just wanting to get away from me was/is a reflection of his fear or resentment of being needy - probably because he was never seen nor accepted with his needs growing up. It really didn't (doesn't) mean I'm worthless, and I am allowed to have needs even though he resented and looked down his nose at them!
Just wanted to share if maybe this could help others see someone's judgement of them in a different light  All the very best to you today, and hugs!  |
I used to go to a 12 step meeting where we studied the statement: "If ya spot it, ya got it!" And the focus was on the vile, ugly and mean things others say or have said to us and we to them. The point of those meetings was to examine how most of what someone says to another is about the offender and not their victim. We used to laugh a lot over the rotten things others said to us when we were defenseless little kids and didn't now the abusers were projecting their own "stuff" onto us. As these teachings sunk in, I felt an enormous relief at no longer believing all the vile, abusive things that had been thrown my way over the years and even more rewarding to see how I had projected much of my faults and shame onto innocent others. Projection is an amazing and seductive fault in us humans and rarely recognized for what it really is. Watch the political drama and you will see many examples of mindless projections amongst the contestants for the oval office. UGH!