I read your post and it sounds like you have a reason to be angry. J left and your folks hated her, I wonder if you ever thought that might happen to you. And M, your parents had the responsibility of protecting you but didn't. It sounds to me like that would cause pain, which is probably what you are feeling now. Maybe talk to the angry part and let it know how you feel and treat it with loving kindness that you deserve. I don't know if I've helped you at all or not. If not, sorry.

Shezbut, I knew you years ago when I was on Psychcentral before. I first was named Antimatter and then couldn't get into my account and changed to EnlightenMe. We were in a group together with someone else who ran the group. IT was always good to talk to you. Take care.