I recently revealed something awful and life-changing that happened to me about 15 years ago, to a person in my life and I am ao deeply regretting it. I've just sort of had a meltdown over it, I feel more depressed than I have in a while. I'm so afraid of having told this secret. It's like this loaded gun that I've handed to another person.

I read about people feeling better after getting things off their chest, but I only become horribly anxious and want to separate myself from that person so they can't hurt me. I regret so deeply ever having said anything. My anxiety is through the roof.

I had the exact same reaction after telling my ex-psychiatrist about it when I was still seeing him. I never told my therapist, I was never close to her. It's just this horror that someone out there KNOWS and I wish I had never brought it up.

I almost feel panicky with lots of bad thoughts and fears from that time in my life stirred up. I more or less picked a fight today with the person I told, over something stupid. I'm just a mess right now. It was such a mistake. I don't want anyone else to ever know what happened. I can't stand it.

It's completely sidetracked the other work I was doing. I hope this will fade in time. I'm just so exhausted and anxious. I don't know why I freak out so bad or feel so much terror over telling someone something that happened so long ago.

I feel like an agitated porcupine, putting out her quills to threaten everybody away from me. I'm so ashamed of this reaction. I don't know how to get a grip.