I haven't slept in three days. I know most of it is not my fault...but a part of my brain fights sleeping. Body is tired and I don't even want to get into bed. I'm not taking my Klonopin four times a day, as prescribed. I'm taking two doses (1 mg pills) perday. This isn't a sleep aide. It's to control my mania and helps anxiety.

Wtf am I doing? I'm not dumb. I'm lucid still. Am I losing insight in this mixed episode? Have pdoc appt on Monday and flying home tomorrow, thankfully.

Any comments appreciated. Tough love? Water boarding? Bipolar sucks. I'm not trying to be a victim. I am playing with fire but cannot logically do things right atm. I've been skipping my benzo for a long time but do take 1-2 daily, but not the four I'm supposed to take. What's wrong with me? This has been a trend for awhile.