Little turtle

I thank you for this thread.
You're saying things that i always thought, that i knew.
I have been abused in different ways since i was 3.
I been on meds since i was 16. Off for a bit but mostly on. I became a mom at 15 and again at 19.
I am now 32 taking lots of meds with a great therapist and a psychiatrist that sees me for maybe 10 min. But he's recommended... Sigh.
I been on ssdi for 7 years. [emoji31] list of diagnosis just keeps growing and right now I'm doing bad.
I did well sometimes. Worked. School.
I tried. I am just loosing hope that i will ever be a valuable member of society.
I wanted to go into health care. I really want to be a therapist.

I'm angry. I'm sad. I don't want to live. I live for my kids. That's it.

Just why..
I cry pathetically asking why why why.
Why the abuse why am i not getting better why am i bothering with these pills. Why.

I read through these threads and my heart aches for all of you. Us.

I just wanted to share.