Oh, yes. I helped look after my grandmother for almost five years while she was bedbound with severe Alzheimer's. Then, when she passed, my mother fell apart and I had to deal with everything on my own. Mom couldn't even come to the funeral, I had to face it by myself, and then administer the estate.

I realize now as I work through some other childhood stuff, that I was treated as an adult far, far too young and grew up with the idea that to be loved and get attention, I had to take care of everyone. Trying to "save" my alcoholic, suicidal father when I was a teenager, for example.

So yes, you have my full sympathy, it is completely something I understand. I'm angry at my family for not being able to take care of me, for not taking care of themselves, for the holes that it left in my sense of safety and security, and the way I operate now. It's a terrible feeling to be so angry but feel so guilty about it because you also have that competing urge to caretake for others, especially when they're people you love.

I am working on my own boundaries and believe I can grow out of this pattern. There's hope that life won't always be this way. All the best to you and from one caregiver to another, try to carve out some breathing room for yourself to have some fun once in a while. It's the only thing that saved my life during the worst, last year.

Lots of love.