I reverted back to my self-loathing self today (I hate who I used to be before I was 17). Part of me wonders how much a blank slate I used to be. I was always an imitator for the most part. I was fake. I couldn't even laugh like I meant it. I'm reflecting and I realized that that I may have been set up like that from the start. If that's the case, then that explains why I'm interested in so many things since people only teach what's convenient for them and sometimes don't even bother trying something really different. All this time, I felt like a defective puppet because of situations like that. It's not like I wanted to be different, it just happened on its own...