I feel for you Mr Moose. It's a hard decision...and I think it should be. The first time I considered leaving my husband my kids were 1 and 3. I make a decent wage, I knew I could support us. But I would have to work full time. I only worked part time because I loved spending time with my kids. Ultimately I decided that I would stay...try my hardest to make my marriage and family work for the sake of my kids. And I believe it was the right choice at that time. I had many happy moments over those years that I wouldn't trade for anything. But now...now it's time to leave for the sake of my kids. I look at the last 2 years and think...is this what I'm etching my kids about marriage? Am I teaching them that if you are terribly unhappy in life you should just stick it out forever? Would I give this advice to my kids if they were in my situation?
These were the questions that have helped me reach my decision. But I guess you need to ask and answer ur own questions.
My mom and dad divorced 5 years ago. When I finally confessed to my mom I'm preparing to leave my marriage I said to her...he will NEVER change. Nothing will ever change. I feel this in my very bones. So if I stay..I have to be happy with what I'm getting for the rest of my life. There will never be more...
She was shocked...she said..I guess I was niaeve, I alway thought my marriage could get better.
So...ask yourself. Do you feel your wife has the want and ability to change? If not, could you stay in this situation forever?
I hope this helps. Hoping the best for you. It is scary and hard :-( hang in there!