Mr Moose, I'm no expert but, I believe that rollercoaster is perfectly normal.
For me, being a father and a husband was my proud identity for many many years. Now, half of that 'identity' is being stripped away.
It hurts, it's scary, it's confusing... sometimes I thought it was just a bad dream!! But, i can feel myself healing. Not everyday, but slowly it's healing.

Know you aren't alone brother... and good luck with all of it !!