I was abused too.
And I very much hated sex, hated being close to some one. Hated being touched or hugged...Had sex for all the wrong reason when I did. It just freaked me out in really bad ways. The healthy benefits of sex in a monotonous relationship was stolen from me. And it affected me in other inter personal ways having nothing to do with sex but intimacy. I was in sexless marriage for years... How stupid was I thinking that was ok?

All I can say is that all changed when I met the right person. And it took a while and their patience.
I feel safe and I trust them. For me it is the ability bond that was stolen from me.
Thank God I met this person

I hope with a lot of work in therapy and or the right person you are able to heal. I am still working on it.

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