One of the reasons I have had a hard time being compliant with my medication is because I wonder if by taking it, does not mean I'm not really trusting in God for healing. When I went off of my medication a few months ago, it was a train wreck. I decided at that point that maybe my healing was going to come through doctors and therapy, but I still had the question.

Today, I had an opportunity to ask my pastor. I gave him a little backstory about my illness and where I have been. I went on to tell him about one Sunday where I heard conflicting information about taking medication. In one service he talked about not being a fool (my words) and being sure to follow your doctor's advice. In another service he upheld a lady with high blood pressure who had decided to pray her way to healing and resist medication. (I'm not sure what other measures she was taking to stay healthy).

His response -- he talked about faith and gave me an example of twins who both had an illness. On decided to pray and trust God. The other decided to accept healing through doctors. He stated that the one who prayed died and the one who took the medication and had surgery lived. He said that it goes back to faith. Sometimes the enemy can trick us into believing that we have the faith enough for healing but our faith may not be strong enough for that healing so we should continue to take the medication until we have built up that faith. He went on to say that if there is anything negative that happens as a result of coming off the medication then we should not do it because that is not coming from God.

I left the conversation more confused than I was going in. Did he say that I don't have enough faith in God for healing? I completely put my trust in Him and I almost ended up in the hospital. Was I supposed to wait it out longer? Wait longer for my healing? How in the world do I show more faith than by quitting everything?

Not trying to get into a religious debate on the forum.
Just confused and expressing myself.
The conversation has totally shifted my mood.
I just should have kept the question to myself.
Didn't expect him to go there.
That is all.

I wish I had not asked. I know my brain. Seeds planted now.