I don't enjoy the depressions and fluctuations of energy and mood. I don't enjoy the intense, obsessive anxiety. I don't like the self-hatred I experience during depressions.

I love, however, the positive side of having a brain that works differently. I like my unique thought process. I like my vision and the fact that I have big dreams-a perspective I probably wouldn't have had had I never been hypo/manic.

I like the fact that I've suffered (didn't like it at the time, of course) because it has made me a better, more mature, deeper person. It also helps me appreciate my health now more.

I even like my hallucinations. They make me feel special, because I am the only one that can see/hear them. Also, they are pretty much the only symptom I have now, so they are a reminder of how strong I am for getting through everything I've dealt with, now sitting on the other side.

Manic depressive illness is fascinating. I never tire of studying it. I appreciate the fact that I have first-person insights into it.