Well, perhaps you can share that space with another poster child for the syndrome? If you'd like to compare notes on how to cope in a world filled with humans, we can do that. For me it's like an obstacle course, zigzagging in every which way not to see, hear or feel anyone in my space. I wear shades, earplugs and take every back street in order not to enounter people because it's just too painful and intense. Online, it's different because there's no direct energy and if there is anything to feel it can be readily diffused.
If I need to associate with people irl for whatever reason it's a huge issue - going from either complete meltdown in my inability to communicate or disassociate to the point where I'm not really there at all so nothing really matters about the situation, but they have to be very quick transactions. Anything over 2 minutes and the meltdown starts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lighthouse22
Sometimes I feel like I must have the most severe case of AvPD in all the world.
That it would be impossible for me to find anyone who had it worse.
I know this is not the case, but I can't help feeling this way.
I feel like communicating with another Avoidant that had it equally as bad as me, would do me a lot of good. So I wouldnt feel so alone in this experience.
So how bad is it for me?
I can barely even communicate online. Just posting this little message gets me extremely anxious. And for an hour after posting I'll be asking myself what did I say wrong? What are people gonna think of me?
So I'm gonna end this right here and post it before I change my mind.
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