trying not to disappear...
think that when things get like this for me though i just end up hiding and wanting to be alone...
i hate confusion

but i dunno why i am so confused... i have pretty much given up on figuring things out you know so i dunno why it persists...?
thought that it would get better if i just quit it, but who am i foolin?
yell at it that you dont even want to know anymore but yet something drags you along, kicking, just let me go for crying out loud..
i dunno... i made a post on the other side of the forums...
http://forums.psychcentral.com/borde...orderline.html

my head hurts
dont think it will stop until the answers are displayed...
this is when things turn to the bottle you know? how can a thought make your body hurt...

nightmares nightmares, go away
staring at me through the bay..
wont retreat no matter the pay
outward i run and pain that stays..
my brain undone that which laze

you know that feeling when it feels like it just doesnt matter anymore..?
you try and try... but just really doesnt seem to matter because you are trapped...
really no escape

its ok though... nothing new... just thought it would be gone by now, didnt expect it to stick around my whole life