Yes, you have to learn to identify the feelings before you can spill them too well :-) Then you can more easily sort of figure out what you're feeling at the moment other than "terror" :-) when your T says something or asks a question, etc. You can associate and connect particular feelings to memories/triggers that come up while you're talking with T and that's how things get worked through.

My husband decided to go to the horse races rather than do the dishes like he "should" have so I could do some cooking and I was disappointed about that and told him :-) He explained that his back was in a lot of pain and bending over the sink and dishwasher made it worse and he was going horse racing in the hopes of distracting himself from the pain a bit and getting a break. I had to admit I "should" care :-) more about his health and happiness than I cared about his doing the dishes right then so I sent him off to horse race with my blessing :-) Talking about it with T we discovered I was doing a stepmother expectation thing where chores have to be done immediately and there's no way you can "choose" what to do when, have to follow her rules when there are actually no "rule at all and one should be free to look at a situation "fresh" and respond to it as needed. I was lock-stepped into doing things my stepmother's way or else! and she had been dead for 2-3 years -- classic transference.

But it was only by looking at "disappointment" that I could see what I believed/felt to be disappointing and how it fit into my life, etc. Here my husband wasn't doing things my way and I was disappointed only it turns out it wasn't my way (so I didn't have to be disappointed!). I was going to say I was trying to control my husband by expressing my disappointment to him (and sometimes I think I just get angry/turn away, etc. to show I'm "not happy" with his choices) but then I realized in this instance I wasn't, was just exploring "disappointment" like my T had asked me to and that I learned about myself and where I was coming from and was able to willingly choose his health and happiness over the dishes (sounds like a no-brainer but isn't unless you are aware of what you are feeling when you're feeling it and where it is coming from) was a really good lesson for me.